You’ve heard the term “it takes a village,” well it is never more true than the life of a Resource Family. Typically, with little to no notice, a foster family receives a call for a new placement. The age, gender, and even number of children is a surprise. Court dates, doctor appointments, school meetings, and case workers quickly fill a calendar that knew nothing about the impending arrival of children that desperately need intentional care and presence. Here are 7 reasons why foster families need our support.
- Foster Families are Ground Zero for How Children Experience Foster Care
Children formally in foster care experience PTSD at rates twice as high as U.S. war veterans. Being removed from your home, even if it means you are escaping a scary situation is incredibly traumatizing.
Children are fiercely protective of their parents because they still love them and have a sense of loyalty. Commonly, children in foster care experience guilt, blaming themselves for situations completely out of their control. In fact, more often than not, children are removed due to unintentional neglect or a lack of resources due to poverty, illness, or substance abuse rather than any type of abuse.
Loss of family, unfamiliar beds, new schools, and uncertainty create a traumatizing experience for any child.
- Kids from Hard Places can Require a Lot of Specialized Care
Children in care may have experienced food insecurity, homelessness, witnessed abuse of a loved one, or may have experienced abuse themselves. This can result in challenging behaviors such as food hoarding or aggression.
Often, resource parents go the extra mile and learn about topics like Trauma-Informed Parenting to better care for the children in their home. They take it upon themselves to become experts in behavioral issues or medical issues, and are required to take courses every year they are licensed foster parents.
- So. Many. Appointments!
Any parent will tell you that they sometimes feel like professional taxi drivers. In addition to normal parent routines, foster parents juggle court dates, doctor appointments, case workers, school meetings, and even scheduled visits with the child’s biological parents. Many of these meetings change at the last minute which makes it difficult to fit normal things like grocery shopping, making dinner, and helping with homework.
- You Don’t Just Welcome a Child into Your Life, You Welcome Their Biological Parents Too
A side of foster parenting that is not commonly discussed outside of the foster care community, is the merging of families. While the biological parent/s still have parental rights, the case plan is always working towards reunification. Biological parents have the right to scheduled supervised visits with their child, which means foster parents open their lives to more than the foster child.
Parents on reunification plans have to work hard to get their children back. Some foster families decide to support or encourage the bio parents along the way. In cases where reunification is not a serious goal for biological parents, the foster parent may face broken promises to the child, missed visits, and generally difficult behavior by the bio parents.
- Foster Care can be Lonely
Remember all those appointments, all that difficult behavior, and general fatigue? Foster parents tend to find themselves isolated in the all-encompassing world of their children. Even if they did have the time, not many people would understand exactly what they are going through. Or, even WHY they are going through it at all.
Sometimes foster parents just need a pat on the back or a sympathetic ear after a hard day.
- Foster Parents are the Lead Advocate for their Child
There are a surprising number of programs and benefits available to children in foster care. It is time-consuming to comb through and research options that social workers may not have taken the time to arrange. With help, children can benefit from the huge array of resources available to them.
- Foster Parents have to Know How to Hold on Tight AND Be Ready to Let Go Quickly
This may be the one thing everyone understands about being a foster parent. You’re going to get attached and you’re going to get your heart broken. In fact, if you ask many foster parents, you MUST get attached!
Fortunately, they realize that being a stable and enriching part of a child’s life story is worth the heartache. Their hearts break so that young hearts can sore.
In Conclusion
Thank you for checking out our list of the top 7 reasons why foster families need our support. If you are interested in helping us support foster families, check out how to get involved HERE.